


Well That Escalated Quickly

by LKKG



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: The Flower Shop AU No One Asked For, no beta we die like men, yes this is in fact supposed to be cliche af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26117710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LKKG/pseuds/LKKG
Summary: Just how do you say "fuck you" in flower?
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	Well That Escalated Quickly

It was a nice day, at least to Leorio's standards. He liked all weather, but he held a special fondness in his heart for days like today, where the fog was so thick and low that he could barely see his fingers when his arm was extended. There was something comforting about it, like being wrapped in a blanket or his favourite sweater.

He especially liked being able to spend it in the safe, welcoming arms of his part time job with a warm drink, his homework, and the gentle patter of raindrops against the glass display windows.

Considering the weather, it was almost certain that no one would be in today, but Mito had insisted before she left that he should stay anyway, just in case. Leorio got the feeling that this was secretly a ploy to be nice to him, giving him the easy hours and a chance to study in a conducive atmosphere instead of his absolute disaster of a place with his housemates.

Leorio had given up trying to fight her when she did nice things for him around the time she had her nephew, one of Leorio's best friends, convince him that she was seriously ill so she could trick him into staying at their house over winter break. The woman would do as she pleased, and lord help the fool who tried to stand in her way.

The clock read twenty past eleven when the bell chimed and a waterlogged customer stormed in, literally dripping wet. They marched right up to the counter and, without preamble, queried "how do I say 'fuck you' with flowers?"  
  
Leorio tugged his textbook out of the splash zone, mentally noting the puddle quickly forming where the customer was standing. "Uh," he replied eloquently, his eyes travelling from the growing pool of water on the floor to the cute black rain boots that had standing water in them and further up tight-clad legs to a torso in a thin, over-sized sweatshirt that was completely soaked through, further still to shoulder length blond hair, plastered to an elegent neck and a breathtaking face, even if it was screwed up with displeasure, lips downturned and blue with cold, gray eyes storming worse than the weather outside.  
  
"Uh," he repeated, all rational thought escaping his head in one quick rush. He shook his head slightly, an attempt to catch some of his fleeing brain cells before they disappeared forever. "Sorry, what was that?"  
  
The figure crossed their arms, shivering violently. "How do I say 'fuck you' in flower?"  
  
"Um. Well... I mean, there are a bunch of ways? Like, specifically w...what are you looking for?"  
  
"Hmm. Well, let me think about it. What should I send to an arrogant, narcissistic prick who set up an elaborate trap to trick their ex into showing up at their engagement party, then forced their ex to get in their car, then tried to go down on their ex, resulting in said ex jumping out of the car in the middle of traffic and having to walk an hour back home in the middle of a storm."  
  
Leorio opened his mouth. Then closed it. "Can I get you a towel? And maybe something warm to drink and possibly even a blanket before we jump into a revenge scheme?"  
  
"I'd rather have a knife and no witnesses." Leorio's thoughts went to the switchblade he kept in his briefcase, but he didn't bring it up.  
  
Then the customer sighed. "But since for some inexplicable reason, homicide is frowned upon in this society, I guess a towel will have to do. Thank you."  
  
"Yeah, no problem," Leorio said, rising gracelessly from his stool behind the counter. "I'll just... go get that then."  
  
He fled to the backroom, starting the electric kettle and pulling out a handful of towels they kept for mopping before rushing back to the stunningly beautiful and incredibly angry customer. "Here," he said, passing over a towel. "I can go dump out your boots. If you're okay with that," he added hastily, realizing that sounded sort of weird.  
  
The customer sent him a funny look, then slipped off one boot at a time, revealing cute, petite bare feet that made wet slaps as they hit the floor. "That would be great, thank you."  
  
"Cool," Leorio replied dumbly as he took the offered rainboots, carrying them outside to pour out the contents before hurrying back in to get out of the rain. The customer was toweling off their hair when he entered again, leaving it pointing in every direction and making Leorio want to brush it flat. Maybe with his lips. Instead, he set the boots down in front of the heater and pulled around his stool, putting a folded towel on it. The customer sat gratefully when he offered, and Leorio ran to the back room to make his guest a cup of tea. He brought it back and perched on the edge of the counter, watching the delicate way the blonde blew across the surface of the liquid to cool it.  
  
"In answer to your question, I think narcissus would be a good base. Colombines, for sure. Basil. Maybe some meadowsweet for garnish."  
  
"What do those mean? His guest asked as they peeled off their sweatshirt, revealing a tight, lace trimmed black camisole, defined collarbones, and, through the dark fabric, the slightest hint of cold perked nipples- Leorio looked away quickly, face flushing, though he found his eyes wandering back whenever he wasn't careful.  
  
"Narcissus is pretty obvious. Colombines are for abandonment."  
  
The blonde snorted. "And that's our whole relationship in a nutshell."  
  
"Basil for hatred. That's a Greek thing. Meadowsweet's uselessness."  
  
"I don't suppose there's a flower for 'you're a fucking perve' or 'I hope you die a long, painful death soon?'"  
  
Leorio laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, but no. I wish. But I think I have some congratulation cards that we could fix up to be pretty passive agressive."  
  
"I'm down," the guest said, shooting Leorio a smirk. "I hope he gives himself a paper cut on it. Then the paper cut gets infected and they have to cut his finger off."  
  
"I think we should settle for just telling him off..." Leorio grinned as he sorted through the display rack of cards, finding a half dozen possible contenders and returning to spread them out on the counter, pulling out a pen.  
  
They settled into a companionable banter, trying to figure out the best and most creative way to tell the guy to go fuck himself. An hour and two fresh mugs of tea later, Leorio's guest finally deemed themself dry and mentally prepared enough to go home. Leorio got the address to send the bouquet to and collected the rest of the blonde's belongings, handing them over as they got ready to leave. "Here," Leorio mumbled, holding out his umbrella. "There's a spare in the back somewhere that I can use later. Take it." There wasn't, but at least he had a car.  
  
The blonde stared at him for a long moment, then reached out to take the umbrella. "Thank you...um. Oh. I never did catch your name."  
  
"Leorio. He/him."  
  
"Thank you, Leorio. For everything. My name's Kurapika, they/them."  
  
They stood uncomfortably for a moment before Leorio gathered up his courage and spoke. "Um, I get that now probably isn't a fantastic time for this but... um... if you ever wanted to return the umbrella, maybe we could meet here and then go for some coffee? If you want? Or if you need some time I can give you my number in case you ever decide you're interested?" Leorio kept his eyes bolted to the floor, a hand raising to card through his hair. He could flirt and play and brag with the best of them, but when it came to people he was genuinely interested in, he turned into an absolute disaster.  
  
The blonde, Kurapika, stared at him for a moment, then grinned. "I guess now's a good time to mention that I was already planning on coming back next week to return it, but since you're offering, I'll happily take your number too. No reason to wait if we don't have to, right?"  
  
Leorio watched, stunned, as Kurapika pulled their phone out of their pocket, opened it, then passed it over. Leorio took it and put in his name and number then handed it back. He expected Kurapika to leave immediately, but before they did, they stood on tip toe, tugging on the strap of Leorio's apron to pull him down, and pressed a kiss against his cheek. "Thanks for everything. I'll text you once I'm home," the blonde threw over their shoulder as they stepped through the door.  
  
Leorio reached up and pressed his fingertips against the phantom touch of lips against his cheek and stared dumbly as Kurapika snapped open the umbrella and disappeared.  
  
Next time he saw Mito, he was going to shower her in gratitude for insisting he stay today.


End file.
